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"Where's That Hammer? I'm Going To Do Bodily Harm To This Sucker!"

Bodily Harm


Bodily Harm!

I had a 1962 Ford Station Wagon a few years ago, well, several years ago, 1967 in fact.

It had a 6cyl engine with some little carpenters inside. At least they were metal workers.

There’s an old saying, “The pistons sound like they are swapping holes!”

At this particular time I didn’t know very much about the inside of an engine…but I knew that it wasn’t supposed to be a black-smith’s shop with all that hammering going on and blue smoke from his furnace coming out the tailpipe.

Have you ever heard someone say, “If I had a nickel for every time I have done so-n-so, I’d be a rich person today!”?

Well, I met one. And he was younger than I was. He told me he could make my car purr like a kitten.

All we needed was an old leather boot!

Personally, I saw no way of putting that boot down in the engine through the little hole where you added oil every time you wanted to crank it.

He said all we had to do was drop the oil pan and take the rod bearing caps off, cut a piece of the leather boot to fit the cap, put it back on and “Presto”, no more noise.

Sounded good to me, I had two old boots we could use.

This was a Saturday morning, about 9 o’clock.

We jacked the front of the car up and put some concrete block under the front tires.

I talked my wife into letting me borrow a blanket to lie down on, my friend was already rolling on the grass and redbugs.

We drained the oil and took all the bolts out of the oil pan.

After a little persuading with a twoXfour and a large hammer, we got the pan to come loose and drop down, but not come out.

For some strange reason the pan would not co-operate with him.

We struggled with it, took the engine supports loose, jacked the engine up, and drank a couple more…soft-


...click on link for more information and related articles.
drinks.

I kept telling him it looked to me as though we were going to have to pull the engine out of the car, but he kept reassuring me that he had done this a thousand times.

About 4 o’clock that afternoon he crawled out from underneath, stretched, and asked, “Where is that hammer?”

Hammer? What would he need a hammer for?

So I asked him, “What do you want a hammer for?”

“I’m going to do bodily harm to this @~%$

  • thing!!!”

    I don’t think so.

    Calmly, I asked, “Why don’t we take a break and get something to eat?”

    He agreed, and said he would be back later to finish this job.

    That’s been over 30 years ago.

    I finally removed the engine from the vehicle and replaced the necessary parts, but I didn’t use my boots.

    Conclusion?

    If you are going to do repairs on your vehicle and you are not real sure about the procedures, contact someone you can trust to guide you in the right direction.

    That could be me: http://www.badcaragain.com/diy.html

    Tommy Sessions - <div ID=Tp2 class=hint>The word drink is primarily a verb, meaning to ingest liquids. As a noun, it refers to the liquid thus ingested. It is often used in a narrower sense to refer to alcoholic beverages (as both a verb and a noun). Drink is also slang for a body of water, such as an ocean or a water hazard on a golf course (e.g. ...click on link for more information and related articles.
    EzineArticles Expert Author">

    Tommy Sessions has been in auto repair since 1970. He publishes Auto Repair Answers Newsletter so you can learn how to keep your vehicle looking new,

    An ezine is a periodic publication distributed by email or posted on a website. CULT OF THE DEAD COW claims to have published the first ezine, starting in 1984, with its ezine still in production more than 20 years later. While this claim is hotly debated, the ezine craze certainly began in the BBS days of the 1980s. Phrack, which opened its doors in 1985, is another surviving ezine of unparalelled technical quality. Unlike CULT OF THE DEAD COW, which publishes articles individually, Phrack published collections of articles in a manner that was more similar to a print magazine.
    ...click on link for more information and related articles.
    running safely and efficiently, while you save money and time...also, learn how to avoid shop rip offs. Don't be at the mercy of the dealerships and auto repair shops...they will have more respect for you. http://www.auto-repair-answers.com

    Running is by definition the fastest means for an animal to move on foot. It is defined in sporting terms as a gait in which at some point all feet are off the ground at the same time. It is a form of both anaerobic exercise and aerobic exercise.
    ...click on link for more information and related articles.


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