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You've Been Dumped! Here's How to Get Over It

We’ve all been there. We’ve fallen in love with somebody who just didn’t love us back. We’ve heard a variety of exit lines “I think it’s time we started seeing other people,” “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” or “It’s not you. It’s me.”

We’ve all been there. We’ve fallen in

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love with somebody who just didn’t love us back. We’ve heard a variety of exit lines: “I think it’s time we started seeing other people,” “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” or “It’s not you. It’s me.”

It’s hard to accept when the other person just stops returning phone messages, but it’s even worse when they keep calling after the break-up. Running into the object of affection in a public place is also a killer, especially if he or she gives mixed signals by making persistent eye contact. It doesn’t help when they send an email every so often to see how you’re doing, either.

Instead, it makes it really easy for you to lie to yourself. You tell yourself that this person really does love you but is afraid of being hurt. The poor thing! If only you could convince him or her that you are a gentle soul utterly incapable of causing pain. If only you could prove your trustworthiness, your dedication. You will win him over! You will make her see! You will!

You lie awake at night replaying the happy scenes between you. You remember the tender way she looked at you while you recited your lines from the Third Grade Christmas pageant over a candlelit dinner. You bring to mind the yielding fullness of his lower lip as you kissed him on the beach. Surely this person loves you! Why must they live in such terror of loving and be loved?

And so it goes. You become caught up in believing that someone who doesn’t love you really does, blinding yourself to opportunities to meet a person who will truly make you happy.

You cannot move on until you stop obsessing, but that’s easier said than done, right? Here’s what worked for me:

Tell the person to bug off. Just as you must cease contact with the object of your affection, he or she must cease contact with you. Tell this person you’re not ready to be friends and you don’t know if you ever will be. Any patronizing emails they send inquiring to your well-being will be left unread and marked as SPAM.

Write down all the things that bothered you. After being dumped, it’s natural to idealize the dumper. We remember the happy events and tender moments, but we forget about the time he was chatting away with a blob of scrambled egg stuck to his lip, or how mascara used to crumble in her eye sockets. We forget about the stack of Victoria’s Secret catalogs he kept on his night table, or her fondness for using four-letter words in 4-Star restaurants. Nobody is perfect. Everybody has faults, so write down a list of the object of your affection’s worst traits and pull it out every time that scene of the two of you fooling around at sunrise pops into your head. Tape a copy to your bathroom mirror while you’re at it, so you see it first thing in the morning.

Throw out all reminders. It doesn’t even have to be a gift. It could be a book you discussed, a bottle of wine you shared that’s still on your kitchen counter, or the sheets you slept on together. Treat yourself by replacing everything. Start fresh.

Turn off the radio. You’re minding your own

Love is a condition or phenomenon of emotional primacy, or absolute value. Love generally includes an emotion of intense attraction to either another person, a place, or thing; and may also include the aspect of caring for or finding identification with those objects, including self-love. Love can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience usually felt by a person for another person. Love is commonly considered impossible to define.
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business, doing quite well, thank you, when all of a sudden some song comes on the radio that reminds you of the object of your obsession. Change the channel. Snap off the radio. Act fast, or in an instant you will be back where you started, treading the cycle of being in love, jilted, depressed, hopeful, and delusional.

Picture the person in a repellent

In economics, business is the social science of managing people to organize and maintain collective productivity toward accomplishing particular creative and productive goals, usually to generate revenue.

The etymology of "business" refers to the state of being busy, in the context of the individual as well as the community or society. In other words, to be busy is to be doing commercially viable and profitable work.
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fashion. It didn’t matter that the object of my affection didn’t even own a

The term fashion applies to a prevailing mode of expression. Inherent in the term is the idea that the mode will change more quickly than the culture as a whole. The terms "fashionable" and "unfashionable" are employed to describe whether someone or something fits in with the current popular mode of expression. The term "fashion" is often used in a negative sense, as a synonym for fads and trends. In this sense, fashions are essentially a relief from bourgeoisie and petit bourgeoisie boredom, or a distraction from important matters, for the idle rich. The term is also frequently used in a posi
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baseball cap, an effective technique I used to “turn myself off” to him was to imagine him wearing a baseball cap in a restaurant. I really hate a guy who wears a baseball cap in a restaurant. Surely there are things that turn you off. Imagine the object of your obsession doing them.

Make the commitment. The reason we obsess about people who hurt us is because it’s comfortable. Heck, sometimes it’s even fun. But to move on to the love you deserve, you have to make a commitment to stop obsessing. So make it. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference. When you’re indifferent to the person who hurt you, you will truly be free and on your way to genuine happiness.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com

Baseball is a team sport popular in North America, Latin America, the Caribbean and East Asia. The modern game was developed in the United States from early bat-and-ball games played in Britain, and it has become the national sport of the United States. It is a ball game in which a pitcher throws (pitches) a hard, fist-sized ball past the hitting area of a batter. The batter attempts to hit the baseball with a tapered, smooth, cylindrical bat that in professional baseball must be made out of wood. A team scores only when batting, by advancing counter-clockwise past a series of four markers cal
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You've Been Dumped! Here's How to Get Over It

We’ve all been there. We’ve fallen in love with somebody who just didn’t love us back. We’ve heard a variety of exit lines “I think it’s time we started seeing other people,” “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” or “It’s not you. It’s me.”

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