- Use your audience as a test group if you have a point to make about human behavior. Take a simple poll of the people in the room and use the immediate results to illustrate your point. Make it fun. I poll my audience about how they deal with change. Based on how many times they’ve moved, changed jobs and fallen in and out of love, they fall into one of three categories - the walkers, joggers or sprinters. Polls can be used in many ways. They create audience involvement and lift the energy in the room. Make them short and sweet, and simple to understand.
- Give clear instructions. I’ve witnessed some embarrassing moments when a speaker had not planned or written out their instructions for a group exercise. The result was chaos. Write out your instructions and try them out loud, with a few friends, before you use them on an audience.
- Share the spotlight. Ask carefully worded questions that allow others to share their views and participate in the discussion. If you’re looking for someone to give you their opinion or share a short vignette, and they give you a one word answer, say “Tell me more about that.” If they are unresponsive, move on to someone else. Be careful with the one person in the room who thinks he or she is the expert and wants to steal the spotlight or make you wrong. Hold the microphone in front of their mouth, but don’t hand it to them. Control the flow of the interaction and hold on to the microphone.
- Speak your own language. Talk the way you do all day. Don’t use words you wouldn’t use at dinner with friends. Too many speakers fall into the trap of trying to sound like a scholar. They write out a speech that would work well for an English exam and then read it, word for word. The problem with that is - we don’t speak the way we write. If you’re going to write out your speech, make sure you write conversational English, not proper English. If you want to disconnect with your audience, be verbose and pleonastic. See what I mean?
- Speak to their hearts as well as their heads. Remember that we are all emotional beings. People act on emotion and use facts to justify their decisions. In order to speak to their hearts, you must speak from your heart. How do you feel about what you have to say? How is your audience feeling? In addition to the facts and philosophies you bring to the table, don’t forget love and compassion. Before I begin every presentation, I stand in the back of the room and send out love to everyone in the audience. It helps me to shift from being totally in my head to a balance of head and heart. Appeal to emotion and motivation, as well as to logic.
- Have a conversation rather than give a speech. Be intimate. Talk to them like they’re your best buddies. Think of them as people that you know rather than a room full of strangers. Know that if you sat down with any one of them, you would find more in common than not. Ultimately, you and they are very much alike. Don’t be afraid to speak softly, to confide in them. If you hide, there is little chance for true connection. Be real. Just talk to them.
- Tell personal stories. Nothing connects like a good story. People may not remember facts and data or the seven points that you made, but they will remember the pictures they saw in their mind’s eye while engaged in your story. Get into the details and paint pictures with words. The more visual you can make the story by acting it out, the better. Have fun and get into the telling of the story. The more energy and commitment you bring to the sharing of the story, the more fun it will be for both you and your audience.
- Be honest. People can tell when you’re not telling the truth. Don’t steal other people’s stories or say something about yourself that is false. You are credible just as you are. You have lived an amazing life full of ups and downs, twists and turns and hairy escapes. Tell the truth with compassion and tact. Don’t be brutal. If you happen to be the bearer of bad news, craft your words carefully. Think about what you’re going to say beforehand and run it by a few people. If you have good news, share your true feelings.
- Provide hope. Don’t just paint a picture of doom and gloom - be optimistic. Find quotes and stories that uplift people’s spirits. Give them something to hold onto, as well as beliefs and philosophies that will support them in moving forward with their lives. Build your speech to a climax that envisions a better outcome. Paint a picture of a bright future and help them get there. Wayne Dyer says, “You’ll see it when you believe it.” That’s the spirit.
- Care. People can sense your compassion. It’s as tangible as anything you will say or do while speaking. Remember, your audience is not made up of strangers, they are fellow travelers on the same roads you traverse every day. They may not travel the same pavement, but the roads are the same. They struggle for balance, for security, for love. They long for success, for excitement, for freedom. Zig Ziglar is famous for this simple but profound statement, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
- Get out of your own way and have fun. If there is one ingredient that will make you a successful speaker, it’s your sense of humor and playfulness. Smile. Enjoy yourself. This isn’t dental surgery! Love yourself and let them watch
