What does it mean to speak from your heart? And why is it important to do so when speaking in a business context?
We start with the reason we give speeches and presentations in the first place: to deliver a message. If you have something to say, a message to convey, you make a speech or give a presentation. The whole point is to get the message delivered.
Or is it? Is it simply to deliver the message, or is it to get people to do something with the information being conveyed – to take action?
Like you, I’ve listened to boring speakers. They had a message and they delivered it. But if they were so boring that I lost interest and stopped paying attention within minutes of their opening comments – or by the time the third PowerPoint slide came up – then I didn’t receive their message. They delivered it, but it wasn’t received.
Someone once said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
When you speak from your heart, it is evident to everyone in your audience that you care. Speaking from your heart means that you are emotionally invested in what you are saying. It means that you care about the people you are speaking to.
For some reason, the same message resonates on an entirely different level when you speak from your heart. The basic content is the same, but the inflection and tone are different. I believe the reason for this is what I call emotional language.
Emotional language is the non-verbal expression of any emotional state. Love, compassion, anger, bitterness and joy are just a few examples. The speaker experiences the emotion rather than talking about it. Emotional language is a universal language that is understood on a deep level.
When someone who has just heard devastating news enters a room, the first person they meet immediately knows something is wrong. It’s intuitive. They see and feel the emotional state of the person who is upset.
Similarly, when you are delivering a message that you feel deeply about, your audience will see and feel your emotional state. Your emotion will stimulate their interest. It will cause you to say things that you wouldn’t have said, in a way that you wouldn’t have said it. This subtle but powerful shift will make you and your speech more interesting.
When you speak from your heart your message takes on an urgency that makes it more compelling. That’s why it’s important to speak about things that you feel strongly about. If however, you are asked to speak about something that you don’t feel strongly about, at the very least, care about the people you are speaking to.
One of the greatest lies about speaking in a business context is that you’re not supposed to show emotion. People will tell you to be yourself and then give you a hard time if you’re too enthusiastic. And yet, I am hired time and again to help speakers and leaders become more powerful and charismatic.
How can you be a powerful speaker without emotion? Without emotion, it’s just a bunch of words and concepts.
In my work of coaching people on their speeches, I’ve seen a dramatic difference in a person’s presentation when he or she is emotionally plugged into what they’re saying. I’ve seen it both in their power and presence while speaking and in the response they get from their audience. It is a tangible difference.
One recent example comes to mind. A coaching client was telling a story about coming to grips with a debilitating medical condition. This condition was having a devastating impact on her life. She was at a crisis point and had to make some hard choices about changing her lifestyle.
In the first version of her story, all of the facts were there in the right sequence. As a listener, I understood exactly what happened and how she dealt with it. But the delivery was flat. She was holding back emotionally. She was talking to me like I was an audience member, rather than confiding in me like I was her friend. It was as if she was telling me a juicy story without the juice.
My coaching questions for her had to do with how she felt about what was going on – what it was like to be in that state. And of course all of her responses to my questions were rich with emotional detail and honesty.
After she re-crafted the story, adding in the emotional elements that I’d asked for, her second version of the story was truly compelling. It was now emotionally honest as well as factually correct. It was the same story, with the same content, but now she was speaking from her heart. And that made all the difference.
The people that listen to you speak expect that you’ll have content – that you’ll deliver information. All they ask is that you make it interesting. They don’t expect you to tap dance on the boardroom table, but they’d really appreciate it if you cared. Show some emotion. If you can’t get pumped up about what you’re saying, how can you expect them to?
Here are a few suggestions to help you speak from your heart in your next presentation:
- Tell the truth. Be honest with your audience.
- Speak from your head with your heart wide open. Tell them what you think and how you feel about it.
- Speak to people like they’re your friends, rather than members of an audience.
These three modifications in your approach will lead to much more powerful presentations. While some people in your audience will resist your emotional honesty, the majority of people will not only appreciate it, but reward you by paying more attention and in the end, taking action in a way that lets you know your message has made a difference in their lives.
