Dentists Hate You and They Are Probably Aliens, Humor : iPedia

Dentists hate you. But I suppose it’s okay to have an attitude if your entire profession revolved around pain, radiation, tooth decay, gingivitis, bad breath, blood and drool.

You dread the visit to the dentist all day long. You park your car and walk into the dentist’s office 15 minutes before your scheduled appointment time in order to sit in their waiting room for an hour and a half. They teach the receptionist how to arrange such a schedule in Dental Receptionist College. In Dental Receptionist College all students are required to minor in How to Create Major Inconveniences for your Patients. They know that we might complain about the wait, but we are trapped there and have no choice. Our complaints are taped by secret microphones and played back during office parties.

Once you are there you get to sit down in the well-heated and stuffy waiting room. You can even watch

Television is a telecommunication system for broadcasting and receiving moving pictures and sound over a distance. The term has come to refer to all the aspects of television from the television set to the programming and transmission. The word is derived from mixed Latin and Greek roots, meaning "far seeing" (Greek "tele," meaning far, and Latin "visus," meaning seeing).
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In the back of your now dulled state of mind you hear a voice calling. It is the hygienist. All of a sudden, after waiting 90 minutes, your appointment has a sense of urgency to it. They want to finish you up and go home. Now lie down in the comfortable chair. That chair has special alien gravity powers that hold you down without straps. Have you ever tried to get up quickly from the dental chair?

Let the blood pool in your head as you stare into the bright light. The more blood in your head, the more calm you are and the more blood they can take from you and use for evil. Notice the sterile room you are in. Doesn't it resemble the spaceship operating room that is often described by hypnotized alien abductees? Now put on the safety goggles so that bone chips and broken drill bits do not fly out of your mouth and lodge in your eyeball. Look at the hygienist. She has a mask and goggles. Is it the same person who led you into the room? Maybe she is a victim of alien body snatching. Now gargle with the mystery fluid. It kills the germs in your mouth that may infect the alien population.

Dental professionals prefer to talk to you when they have tools and fingers in your mouth. The odd sounds that you make is actually the alien’s native

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A language is a method of communication. Human spoken and written languages can be described as a system of symbols (sometimes known as lexemes) and the grammars (rules) by which the symbols are manipulated. The word "language" is also used to refer to common properties of languages.

Language learning is normal in human childhood. Most human languages use patterns of sound or gesture for symbols which enable communication with others around them. There are thousands of human languages, and these seem to share certain properties, even though many shared properties have exceptions.
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The hygienist now goes to work on you. They do not let you see the tools that they are sticking in your mouth. They take magician and gambling courses in dental school and are deft at the sleight-of-hand. There's a reason they don't want you to see the tools. You would expect alien tools to be space-aged equipment. But they aren't. The aliens are sadistic and want to inflict pain on you. They have been using the same dental surgery tools since the Civil War. If you attempt to fight their gravity chair and peek at the tool table, they will shock your exposed nerves with a blast of cold water or cold air.

How sadistic are dental professionals? Did you know that the US Army Reserve unit that got into trouble for abusing prisoners at Abu Graib was a dental unit? There was a snafu at the assignment office and this reserve dental unit from West Virginia was mistakenly sent to relieve a departing military police company at the prison. These dental professionals were just doing what they were taught to do. Torturing and humiliating people.

Once the hygienist is done scraping every exposed nerve in your jaw she calls for the dentist. He likes the drill. The drill hurts but there are worse things. He was drilling on one of my teeth one day and we fell into a routine together. He would drill a little. Stop. Tears would well up in my eyes. Drill, stop, tears. Drill, stop, tears. This cycle repeated itself about 4 more times when he finally asked, "Why do you wince and tear-up when I stop drilling?" I said, "Doc, it's that music! Every time you stop I can hear Celine Dion playing! Please keep drilling!"

The dentist is good at using euphemisms. "You are going to feel a little pressure," means, "It is going to feel like a yellow jacket stung you on your tonsil." "You are going to feel a pinch" means, "It will feel like this needle pierced the roof of your mouth and penetrated your eyeball."

They speak in a secret code to the hygienist too. "Suction," means, "Get rid of that quart of blood that is pooling in the back of his throat." They even assign a secret numbering system to the dental tools. "Give me a # 3, or a # 4, or a # 8," is shorthand for "the gum eviscerator, "the raw dangling nerve pincer," and "the bone pulverizer."

Now it is time for an x-ray. There is nothing more unearthly than radiation. Do you really think that a human invented the x-ray machine in the 1890s? That was quite a leap in medical

Communication is the process of sending information to oneself or another entity, usually via a language. Specialized fields focus on various aspects of communication, and include Mass Communication, Communication Studies, Organizational Communication, Sociolinguistics, Conversation Analysis, Cognitive Linguistics, Linguistics, Pragmatics, Semiotics, and Discourse Analysis.
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Science in the broadest sense refers to any knowledge or trained skill, especially (but not exclusively) when this is attained by verifiable means.[1] The word science also describes any systematic field of study or the knowledge gained from such study. In a more restricted sense, science refers to a system of acquiring knowledge based on empiricism, experimentation, and methodological naturalism, as well as to the organized body of knowledge humans have gained by such research. This article focuses on science in the latter sense.
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Before you leave they tell you to floss. They want you to take a nylon wire and rub it in between your teeth until your gums bleed. This is the same principle as taking a linoleum knife and

The Global Positioning System, usually called GPS, is the only fully-functional satellite navigation system. A constellation of more than two dozen GPS satellites broadcasts precise timing signals by radio to GPS receivers, allowing them to accurately determine their location (longitude, latitude, and altitude) in any weather, day or night, anywhere on Earth.
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As you exit the building and walk out to your car in the parking lot you sense a weird feeling. Though you spent the entire afternoon at the dentist office it has only felt like five minutes since you first arrived and got out of your car. This is called "lost time" or "missing time" and it is the same phenomenon that alien abductees experience. Coincidence?

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The word drink is primarily a verb, meaning to ingest liquids. As a noun, it refers to the liquid thus ingested. It is often used in a narrower sense to refer to alcoholic beverages (as both a verb and a noun). Drink is also slang for a body of water, such as an ocean or a water hazard on a golf course (e.g. "He hit that one into the drink."). To drink in is also used metaphorically, as in to drink in the scenery.
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Dentists Hate You and They Are Probably Aliens

Dentists hate you. But I suppose it’s okay to have an attitude if your entire profession revolved around pain, radiation, tooth decay, gingivitis, bad breath, blood and drool.

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